Thursday, February 18, 2010

After the Cello

Books and songs, films, poems, roses, candy--even days have been dedicated to it. Shit, I even wanted to make a career out of it, but what do we understand of love? There are as many answers to the boundless questions about love as there are lovers to ask them. Love has ever delighted and perplexed, inspired and confounded. And here, within my own heartbreak, I want to visit love from a certain angle in an attempt to show how this celebrated and mysterious emotion has been, and ever will be, the one enduring obsession of humankind.

Love doesn't necessarily have to pertain to a lover, but it can live within your family, friendships, animal companions, work, hobbies, passions, inspirations, and even materialistic objects like your beloved guitar. So, as I trekked Eastbound, I felt it was essential to shed a few tears for those that I love back in the desert, and delve into one of the most ageless, darling words. Now, I hate discussing my own relationship footlights, so I am going to do what I do best, and opt to write about the bright side of love, but in doing so I may have to analyze bits of my wacky love life. I apologize. Whilst there may be some pessimistic underlying notions of love, note that they have all been repaired. I already have a book in mind dedicated to all of those previously broken pieces...

The most important heartbreak I am speaking of comes from leaving the aesthetic pleasures of the Arizona palm trees and the eccentric breeze they grant you on an eighty degree sun-drenched day, allowing your amigos and you to lay aimlessly by the pool sipping wine at any hour. I mean, essentially, it was those five years I spent in this season-free place that bloomed my imagination, vision, and bestowed me memories to write about. I drank a lot. I formed lifetime friendships. I laughed and smiled day after day. And it was my Hunter S. Thompson guise fashioned from my friends and the booze that ultimately sparked my inspiration to dig deep into my imagination. Love must come to you when you need it the most, because love became the creator of my many memories and the foundation for my fondest dreams. There is no reasoning with the heart-it is simply the greatest instinct. In fact, the heart has its reasons that fucking reason does not even know at all. And while reason and love may be strangers, in love it is the heart that rules the head. So, follow your heart, because when we look back on our lives, we find that those things we did in the spirit of love represent the moments we were truly alive.

Simply for the positivity that arises from my delicate situation, and to express the severity of never giving up on following your heart, I must break into the personal life safe. I did in fact pursue my heart recently, and it bit me in the ass. However, love gave me a fresh dream to chase, and despite my fears, I fucking followed my heart again. Second time's a charm, right? And I am not going to say I wasn't angry with the world, with "love", or life for a while, but I allowed love to pick me back up and show me the joys that life has to offer-with LOTS of help from my friends. Am I open to loving again even though it didn't work out for me the first time? Absolutely. However, I will definitely put the entire dating mania on hold for a while, but I do not regret a single obstacle I put my heart through. I don't regret wearing it on my sleeve, because the only way to learn about love is by loving, and you must love with all of your heart. I did that. It is a lovely and fearful thing, but great love takes great daring. I took that dare. And after it didn't work out, love let me live it up again for a while, and it was fucking fabulous. Remember, love is always on your side, and so is your heart. They come hand in hand, and they will steer you to the place you are meant to carry out your wildest dreams. Love is still, and always will be, the sweetest gift of all, whether we give it or receive it.

Now, I recognize that all of my optimism can become old and bothersome, but you have to appreciate the fine things through the unpleasant. I am certain that if I did not allow my hopefulness to luster the shitty things in life, I would have become senseless by now. So, the hell with you pessimists, I am going to try and spread some more good spirits and love, because it is the greatest transforming power. And it is love that may wind up hurting us, but at the same time, it gives us strength to endure. It makes the heart strong when the body is weak, and love sure as shit does not bear grudges. We go through life seeing things not as they are but as we are, and love is the only lens available to straighten out our vision of the world and offer some hope of understanding.

Everything DEFINITELY happens for a reason.

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